Scoring for the Right Team

As imperfect (human) lovers, it's easy for us to become caught up in the logistics of love - especially at early, immature, or fragile points in our relationship. By 'logistics,' I mean things that really don't matter at the end of the day, yet seem so pressing in the moment (i.e. who contacts who first, how long a text back takes, tissue paper that needs to be replaced, a flirty cashier, etc, etc, etc). When you think about it, you have to admit - the power we afford childish things is utterly ridiculous. I opine that we give so much attention to the trivial because we fail to realize that each moment spent out of sync with our partner is a moment that we are in collaboration with the devil for the demise of our relationship.


I can picture your face...I know what you're thinking - "It's not THAT serious."


But yes, yes it is.


Here's why:
The devil HATES you.
He also HATES your partner.
So imagine how much he hates the two of you TOGETHER.


'What did we ever do to him?' you wonder.
Well, that's an easy question to answer...EXIST.


The Bible is full of spousal imagery, representing God's covenant relationship with His people. Because He desires to be intimate with each of us, our intimate relationships with one another represent the Gospel. Satan HATES the Gospel. So, because your relationship represents the Gospel, he automatically hates your relationship.


When you allow him to disrupt the unity between you and your Lover - because yes, all of those times you well up in anger because you get a short response when you wanted a long one are the devil - you join his team. Joining his team means scoring on his behalf. And scoring while on his team means HE WINS.


Today's assignment is hard...but simple. Hard because it requires you to be honest with yourself. Simple because the only person keeping you from doing that is you. So, here goes:

• Be attentive to your actions over the next two days. Make note (with pen and paper) of each time you either do or almost do allow something to come in between you and your mate. Beside each incident, document your answer to the following two questions:
• What was the root cause (or potential root cause) of the dissension?, and
• How could you have been better understanding? (i.e. considering that Peter rushed off the phone because he was running late to a meeting, not because he doesn't want to talk to me).
• Pray! - for God to help you gain the strength to prevent yourself from acting irrationally, radically, and in detriment.

**Here's a little secret I've learned: when I don't take things personally and react as if my partner's actions (or lack thereof) are direct attacks to me, I ALWAYS find out that they weren't**

Learning to shut up is vital!